Grief & Gratitude: Thanksgiving… It’s Complicated

It goes without saying that this week is complicated. 

For many this is not a time of celebration, but rather a time of grief. “Thanksgiving” is not a holiday at all for the Indigenous rightful residents of this land, but rather a Day of Mourning. It is a day filled not with Gratitude, but rather, Grief. And I feel it’s imperative to honor that Grief and the truth of “Thanksgiving” and colonial impact.

On Sunday, I attended a UU service. At one point in the service, the minister had us use hand gestures combined with words in response to every joy and sorrow he shared with the congregation. It went like this: “Sometimes we have joys” (reach out right hand, palm up), “sometimes we have sorrows” (reach out left hand, palm up), “and sometimes we have both” (hands clasp together in front of you). 

This truth - that there are both joys and sorrows, often not in equal measure - feels like the reality we are living in right now. How do we hold both horrific grief and concern, while also allowing in positive experiences and feelings as well, such as joy and gratitude? 

This week allows us to really practice acknowledging and holding both Grief and Gratitude. To intentionally honor the true history of our country while also allowing ourselves to experience Gratitude (if it feels right). 

What this week calls for most of all, I believe, is SLOWING DOWN and CONNECTING. 

In a series of 3 blog posts over the next 3 days, I will invite you to slow down and orient to connection. Let us begin here:

  • Connection to Self: take a few breaths and notice what you are feeling. Where is your attention?

  • Connection to Others: who will you be connecting with this week? Call them into your mind and set the intention to connect with them authentically, to nourish those connections while remaining connected to yourself.

  • Connection to the Land: there is a deep connection to the land this week. In addition to honoring the Grief of the true history of the indigenous rightful stewards of this land, we will also learn from them. We are all connected to this land that nourishes us and the food that some of us will gather to share on Thursday. We will connect with the land.

  • Spiritual Connection: connecting to the land enhances spiritual connection. And Gratitude can provide deep spiritual connection. We will explore both this week. Open yourself up to that. 

Complicated connections (and lack thereof)

While this week is an opportunity for connection, in addition to the Grief of the Truth of Thanksgiving, as well as the Grief of so many conflicts and concerns in our world today, for some this week also brings the grief of loved ones lost, feelings of loneliness, or navigating complicated family dynamics. These experiences can cause anxiety, anger, sadness, fear, and any other feelings to arise. 

I am here to support you in these complicated times.

You may be feeling much more grief, fear, concern or disconnection than connection, gratitude or joy. No matter what you’re experiencing, please know that I am available to support you. I have specifically designed my new Soul Support Sessions to address immediate needs, conflict and concerns that may arise during the holidays or in general. So, if you need some support, I have opened up availability for sessions the week of November 27 and throughout December. You can learn more about the sessions and book here. I would love to support you in anything you’re navigating.

Thank you for being you, and I’ll “see you” tomorrow.  

Rev. Dev
The Connected Way™

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Grief… Tomorrow is the National Day of Mourning

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ALL the Days of the Dead + The Evolution of Halloween