Abortion is not just a political topic - it is a personal experience.

Abortion has obviously been a heated political topic for a very long time, but between when Roe vs. Wade was signed into law in 1973 legalizing abortion and today, the last five years have arguably been the most “active” for the politics and religious arguments around abortion. With the rise in voices of the Christian Right (who took on abortion as their leading cause when they could no longer hang their political hats on racism and school segregation), the country is once again heated about the rights of individuals to make choices about their bodies.

There is obviously a lot there - a lot of feelings and thoughts about people’s rights and our own rights. I stand firmly with the pro-choice movement - that it is every person’s choice to make a decision about their OWN bodies and families. But that is not what this blog post is about. This is about the people who have had abortions. 

About 25% of people with uteruses have abortions before the age of 45. Rachel Jones, a principal research scientist at Guttmacher says “Bans and restrictions are designed to stigmatize abortion, but our study shows one in four women is expected to have an abortion in their lifetime. That means that almost everyone, including abortion opponents, knows someone who has had an abortion.” (Guttmacher, 2024)

So you likely know at least one person and likely many who have had abortions. But you very likely don’t know that they’ve had an abortion. Because anti-abortion campaigns and bans do just that - they stigmatize abortion. Many people who have abortions do not share their experiences with others due to the shame and stigma associated with such decisions, or because they feel expressing their emotional experience will hinder the pro-choice movement. So instead of sharing, they hold in their feelings, their thoughts, their experiences. They may share their experience with no one, they may share it with only people they’re close with or they may share it widely (this is less common in our culture). 

The experience of having an abortion can be challenging and it can also not be. You can think or feel that you made the right decision or not. And you can have any range of feelings about an abortion before, during and after the fact, ranging from relief to grief, from shame to empowerment, sadness to happiness, and any other emotion. In fact, when you have an abortion, your hormones mimic what they would if you had given birth - you go through postpartum following an abortion in the same way. So the emotions can be really heightened throughout that time. 

A really common experience is knowing/thinking/feeling that you may know you made the decision but still having grief and possibly even shame about it. You may not even feel it’s okay to grieve because you made the decision. And that specific experience may not resonate - yours may be completely different because they are all unique. But in our society - what do we do with these experiences and feelings? We often hide them and it harms us and also keeps us from connecting with others who have a shared experience.

As Brene Brown has famously taught us, it is keeping our shame stories hidden that really harms us, and sharing our stories and our feelings vulnerably is what allows us to heal and connect again. 

So in this vein, I am bringing together a group I’ve been wanting to host locally for many years. Joined by local Full-Spectrum doula Kaeleigh Terrill, the group is a Post-Abortion Support Group which will happen for the first time on May 7th from 7:00-9:00PM in Portland, Maine. This group is for ANYONE who has had an abortion (whether 2 months ago or 20 years ago) that might want to connect with others who have also experienced an abortion.

If you are interested in joining the group, you can learn more about it and start the registration process here. All form submissions are kept completely confidential and only viewable to me and Kaeleigh and steps are being taken to ensure the safety of the group. 

If you don’t feel comfortable joining the group but would like some support around your experience, you can contact me directly. I offer spiritual support, soul tending and rituals to support you in honoring your experience and moving through anything that can be released that is not serving you.

Also, if you are unable to attend this meeting but are interested in future groups, there is a spot on the form for you to stay in touch. 

I hope you’ll join us if this resonates with you at all and please reach out if I can support you in any way.